Royal fail

With a name like Quantum of the Seas, you'd expect Royal Caribbean's newest ship to have an introductory video that's big, really big. Unfortunately this 8-minute exercise in overstatement substitutes big for interesting. 

Featuring a cast of B, C, and D list celebrities – a note to the producers, if one of your "stars" has to identify himself on camera, you might want to consider recasting – this digital tour de farce blends the whiz-bang CGI technology with lame jokes and banal dialogue to create a short film that feels longer and more tragic than Titanic.

I dare you to watch all 8-minutes of it.

I get that the idea is to sell the experience and all the amenities, all the things that make this new product different, special and better. But cramming a video full of special effects, celebrities and superlatives describing and demonstrating its features isn't enough. It needs an idea. A story. An arc. Give me a reason to pay attention and care.

Yes, this ship is awesome. Yes, apparently it's bigger and more posh than any to come before. Unfortunately all anyone will remember upon watching this video is the bad writing, bad acting, and bad feeling they are left with after wasting 8-minutes of their lives watching this.

It's funny. Is it effective?

Kmart has the internet abuzz thanks to a fecal homophone and the fact that most of America has the sense of humor of a 13-year old boy.



I'll give them points for tying the humor to a relevant promise – free shipping – and creating an ad that gets noticed. I like the direction, the casting, the acting, and overall production. It's well done.

With over 7 million views on YouTube and a myriad of mentions on websites and news programs in just five days, I'd say it qualifies as a viral hit.

I have only one question...

What's next?

It's a funny (if juvenile) idea. It's sticky. But is it a campaignable idea or is it the next "Where's the beef?" a great spot that Wendy's was never able to turn into an ad campaign.

Creating one spot that gets attention is relatively easy. Creating a campaign that positions your brand while bringing customers in the door is a whole other matter. If this spot leads to that, then and only then, does it go from funny to brilliant.

Pepsi and Coke run dry

When I first got into the advertising business, I heard this joke.

"When the French don't have an idea, they take their clothes off. When the British don't have an idea, they tell a joke. When the American's don't have an idea, they sing a song."

It's become even worse. Now when American's don't have an idea they hire a pop star to be their "creative director" and then they sing a song.





When all you have to sell is flavored sugar water (or aspartame water in the case of Diet Coke), differentiating one product from the next is hard enough.

Neither Coke nor Pepsi are doing themselves any favors by attempting to build their brands solely on the borrowed equity of a diva du jour, especially at a time when kids have everything from Frank Sinatra to Pink on their iPods.

Music is more inclusive than ever. When Pepsi was The Choice of a New Generation it used rock and roll – then a divisive genre – to say, "we're not your parents' cola." It actually positioned them against their larger, more mainstream rival. It made a statement.

By aligning Coke and Pepsi with Jay-Z, Beyonce, Taylor Swift or any other of the thousands of interchangeable pop stars that appear in ads and promotions, the only statement these marketers are making is that they're out of ideas.